Posted by: Joe Palmer | February 4, 2010

Divorce & The Christian Response

Divorce & The Christian Response

By Joe Palmer

As we approach the season of love I am caused to reflect not only love as it exists in my life now, but in the past. It is said, “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.“ All words are shallow comfort when you have lost the love of your life, but the loss of love through death, and the loss through divorce are two totally foreign animals.

I lost my first love relationship through divorce. It hardly makes me unique in the world that we live in. Divorce is now so common.  Perhaps it can’t be compared to the cold, but it nears the state of certainty as death and taxes. In fact it is so certain many now consider the preëmptive moves to prepare for the inevitable before saying the nuptials.

As a Christian, and a minister I would like to tell you it is different in our world. But statistics and just general observations prove it is not. Too many Christian families end up in the divorce court.

Being a divorced preacher seems particularly contradictory to some. Once when reentering the ministry someone said, “We don’t want a divorced preacher.” I assure you I didn’t one to be on either. People ask questions like, “How do you preach against divorce?” Other questions, like, “How can you possibly counsel someone in a marriage or considering divorce,” are commonly asked.

I understand the questions and sympathize with those asking. It may seem hypocritical. I have decided to write a series of articles about divorce from the inside. A series I hope will help some people avoid this devastating mistake and hopefully preserve a few marriages along the way. I also hope to encourage people who are Christians to do a better job in comforting the divorced.

If the fact that I am divorced gives you pain, then let me assure you it gives me more pain. My hope is these words will help. I am glad to answer question either privately or openly depending on your own desire.


Joe Palmer Next Article “The Scarlet D”



  1. Joe I have asked these same questions about divorce and had questions about having a divorced preacher.I know and believe that your divorce was scripitual .My saying that I have seen you grow as a preacher and you also have a wonderful wife helping you along the way.
    I can’t begin to know what you went through, but I could see your pain and I didn’t know how to react so forgive for not being there for you.I am looking forward to what you have to say on this subject.
    may God continue to bless you

  2. Dianne,

    Thanks You. I have to be honest I still don’t always know how to help people through problems. I had a divorced friend who asked me a lot of questions about how the church here supported me. I don’t feel bitter because I understand how difficult it is to know what to do.

    Your prayers alone probably helped me more than you will know. I also appreciate so much that you are genuine in everything you say and do. That means a lot.

    Please understand these articles aren’t intended to bash the church but to make us aware that we can always do more to show support for those who are struggling.

    Love you all

  3. I surely understand and will take all you say under consideration.I also am reading many of your other articles.thank you for all ou do and know my prayers are with you and Leanna

  4. I think whats more important here is that you as a preacher still strives when even when at times where some others fail. And being there to lend a hand to others makes a big difference on you as a divorced preacher. Actions speaks louder than words as they say. While you cannot satisfy everyone and there is no point on doing so, I am compelled to say that others are thankful to have you to help them.

  5. In regard to holy spirit miracles for divorced couples or broken, unhappily married homes.. if we look at the saints in the old and new testament we generally find no example of this where unhappily married persons were made happy again.. can you name one example? we find many examples of troubled marriages though.. just for a start King David’s, Job’s, Samson, etc., and why was that when so many evangelists, preachers now today claim the opposite.. if you accept Christ as Lord your home, marriage will be better… but for sure this not what Jesus had said..

    “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. (Mat 10:36 KJV)

    Few persons here seem to tell the truth.. The truth that Happiness in marriage is not life’s end or goal.. serving Jesus always is.

    You cannot live someone else”s life for them, or have them be what you want them to be, each person tends to live his own life and will give his own account as well for it..

    (Luke 12:15 KJV) And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

    And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Mat 10:38 KJV)

    Jesus is the source of our life, happiness, desire and not anyone else, a house, or material things.. admit it or not, like it or not.. in Him is our life.

    Now in real life I have seen many persons preach their own views while they lived, until many of them next faced death and where they saw the error of their false teachings often too late.

    What peeves me of is that the number one prayer request or complaint that I have heard for the last 50 years is I am unhappy with my marriage or I am still looking for a good soul mate.. firstly are you really a good person though yourself?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: